I spent the summer of 2008 listening to the 59’ sound in my room. I was 16 years old. I start here because well before now nothing of interest had happened. Except for the separation of my parents. Not that I particularly cared, my father was a bastard and a drunk. I was glad he was gone. He left the day after my birthday. My parents had a huge fight the night before because he had struck me with a wine glass. To this day I still have the scar under my left eye; it’s faint but still there.

It was during the summer of ’08 that I decided to start a band with my friend Lucas Kuechley. Lucas could play the bass, and I could play guitar. I often thought “how hard could it be to play in a band?”The answer? Very. I wasn’t very talented, in fact I was crap. A cat could have played thunderstruck better then me, which is probably why Luke kicked me out. I didn’t leave without a fight though and broke his nose on the way out.

My name is James Madison and I don’t know why I’m writing any of this down. I guess a lot of it because I’m scared. After the fight with Lucas I ran home. I ran fast, I had blood on my teeth and I wanted to be home more then anything. I opened the door, ran in and tripped on my little sister Kate’s toy train. I landed on my face, blood was now pouring and my nose was broken. After ten minutes I turned my body over and stared into my mother’s eyes, my heart froze.

Allie Madison was the nicest women I had ever known. She was so kind and warm and loving. She had given my sister and I as good a life as she could. Allie Madison was the women who woke me up every morning before school and the women who looked on proudly when I won New York’s young writer of the year award. Allie Madison was my mother and my mother, as of 6’ o clock on July 14th’ was dead.

July 15th was an awful day. My house was full of people who I barely knew, people I didn’t want anywhere near me. And I guess that’s why I left. I went down to a small café on the edge of town. It was my favourite part of New York I’d stop here every day after school to have my usual cup of coffee and a kit-kat. I purchased my coffee and my kit-kat and also a copy of the enquirer. I focused intensely on reading it because I didn’t want to think the worlds a horrible place, as evident by the article I read about rapist and murderer Frank Dawson who just been sentenced to death by a court in Texas. I mean what kind of person does that? And what man should have the power to sentence another to death? I thought of my mother, and how she was dead. What god would take her away from me? I started to cry, and it wasn’t the subtle tear you always see flowing down a person’s cheek in the movies.  I was sobbing quite violently. My body wretched and my chest heaved. I was sure that everyone in the café was staring. I got out of my seat and walked out of the café. The rain was pouring, heavier than I had ever seen before. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned around. I stared into the green eyes of a pretty girl about my age. She hugged me abruptly and again I started to cry. She walked me home. I didn’t know who she was or where she was from. But I did know that she was one of the most compassionate people I’d ever met. She gave me a number and then walked off. Now many of you might feel compelled to ask me what happened to that girl and if I ever saw her again, but my life story has many parts to it and that story shall be told on a later day.

 I didn’t feel as awful as I had earlier. I still felt like crap but I felt like I was a slightly higher echelon of crap than I was before. I walked into my mother’s room and saw my sister asleep. Her cheeks were rosy red and her eyes were puffy from crying. I went downstairs to bid my grandparents goodnight. I didn’t sleep a wink that night and at four a.m I crawled out of bed and got into my mother’s bed and slept. I didn’t feel like being alone and I fell asleep wondering about the girl who walked me home.

I went to the doctor’s office the very next day. My mother’s funeral was the day afterwards Dr. Kersey wanted to see me as soon as possible. My mother had died of heart failure. I had already guessed that much. Then he told me that my mother had a rare genetic defect known as Barth Syndrome. Barth Syndrome is a disorder which primarily affects the heart and the doctor told me that there was a fifty percent chance that I had it and the same went for Kate.

I don’t really feel like discussing the funeral. It’ll always be the second worst day of my life and I cried so much. I kept hoping to just wake-up at a stage where life wasn’t awful. A time where I had a mother, a time where I had my family. I never got myself tested for Barth Syndrome. It would only bring me more grief if I knew and either way there was no cure.

My name is James Madison and I told you that I didn’t know why I was writing this it’s because I’m scared that one day without notice I’ll collapse and die. For all I know I’m in my body just waiting to die.

The year was 2011. I was sitting at home eating a bagel with cheese on it when the phone rang.

On the 24th of February 2011, Kate Madison was found dead near the local bus stop.

The end

Michael Brown was distraught. The cup of coffee in his hand had gone completely cold not that he had noticed though. He was too busy fretting about Maria. His dearest Maria who was lying in a bed behind a door down the corridor. The doctors had told Michael that there was a 50-50 chance that Maria would make it through the night. Maria had been injured in a car crash. Michael was 2 years older than Maria and had finished college a year ago. Maria was in her final year. She was studying psychology and it suited her. She could always read people and Michael had never been able to lie to her. Her perception was unmatched by anyone Michael had ever met and he loved that about Maria. He loved everything about Maria. He loved her loud laugh and the look she got on her face whenever she got confused or stressed out. He loved her odd sense of humour and how he could talk to her until the early hours of the morning without ever getting bored. He loved Maria more than anyone and she loved him too. Michael didn’t sleep at all that night, he just sat by Maria’s bed and looked at her face. Maria had long blonde hair and green eyes. The rosiness that usually occupied her cheeks had lessened to an extent. He liked her cheeks, she hated it because they shone red whenever she got embarrassed.

“Good morning Michael” siad Dr. Freeman. He startled Michael who hadn’t fallen asleep but was close enough to it. “Good morning Doc. Do you have any news on Maria” The Doctor could see the eagerness on Michael’s face and he was glad that the news he held wasn’t bad. “Maria suffered a lot of head trauma but she will live” announced the Doctor. Michael jumped out of his seat and hugged the Doctor. He apologised but the doctor didn’t mind. He told Michael to sit down again. “Now Michael the head trauma isn’t life threatening now but there is a chance that Maria’s memory might have been affected” Michael’s smile dropped. He considered the possibility that Maria might not know who we was and a few hours later his nightmare became a reality.

Maria woke up confused. She saw a man she didn’t recognise sitting across from her. He was lying asleep in a chair. His hair looked messy and she wasn’t sure if it was always messy or that he had been stressed out because of her. Maria didn’t know why she was in the hospital but she realised that in likelihood it was connected to the dull ached she felt in the back of her skull. “Ah Maria you’ve woken up” called Dr.Freeman’s voice and with that Michael awoke with a look of surprise on his face. He hugged Maria. She was confused as to who he was. “What happened to me?” The Doctor went on to explain all that happened to Maria and how her friend Rebecca was in a room across the corridor with a broken leg. Maria pushed her hand through her hair and pursed her lips. “I have one more question though” she said turning to Michael “Who are you?”

Michael felt a sensation of dread consume him at that moment. He cleared his throat and leaned in towards Maria and spoke softly “I am Michael. We have been going out since your first year of college and that was over three years ago.” Maria looked really puzzled. A look of sadness overcame her. “I’m really sorry Michael but I don’t know who you are” The Doctor sat Michael down for a one on one chat and told him that there was a chance that Maria would regain her memory. “We can’t be sure all is lost until 3 months after the initial memory loss. But Michael if she goes 3 months without remembering you I would say that all your hope is gone” Michael thanked the Doctor and a few days later he took Maria home to their apartment. Michael hoped that the first few days would just be an opportunity for Maria to relax. They weren’t. The first thing Maria asked was if she could call her parents. “Maria, your mother died last year. And you haven’t seen or heard from your father since you were 6 years old. Your grandparents are the closest relations you have. And they’re lovely people so I think you’d be better off calling them.”

At 10 O’clock Maria said that she was tired. Michael decided to sleep on the couch. “No” exclaimed Maria. Michael looked at her and said “I’m a stranger to you”. “But you’re also the man that I love. I just don’t remember it” They were lying in bed that night when Maria whispered to Michael. “Are you awake?” “Yeah” came the response. “Michael, do you think we’ll be okay?” whispered Maria. “I hope so dear, I really hope so” said Michael. His voice was frail and weak as he was choked up with the fear that Maria might never remember who he was to her. “I hope so too Michael. I mean, this injury has made me forget everything but I understand why I fell in love with you”. She put her arms around him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Maria had to have weekly check-ups and everyday Michael would tell her stories about her past in hopes of her remembering. She smiled at all the stories and laughed heartily at all of them. She didn’t remember the stories but they seemed vaguely familiar and that excited her. “So Michael were you gonna propose to me or anything?” she asked with a grin on her face. “I have this plan which I’ve told you about before. Okay Maria, so we live in this place called Colorado and while Colorado is great and all you once told me that your dream was to live in New York or London and that’s exactly what I want to do. When you’re done with school I’d like to go live in New York or England with you. And I really hope that we get to do that. I pray for it everyday”

Two and a half months had passed now and Michael was getting angry and depressed. He was drinking a lot. He couldn’t make Maria remember him but that wasn’t the worst of it. Maria had forgotten a lot of the things she had learnt in college and she didn’t remember any of her friends or family. Michael fell asleep drunk in the sofa.
                                                   *
Maria felt awful for Michael. She could see in his eyes that I loved for her very much and she knew she loved him too. She could feel it, it was an instinct. She found an envelope with her name on it. She opened it up to reveal a letter, and inscribed on the letter was a poem

To my darling Maria,

2009 was the year I found you sitting at a bar
You were sad and all alone, I saw you from afar
You kept looking at your watch, you kept checking your phone
You weren’t supposed to be all alone

You were forgotten and ignored by some idiotic punk
You wanted to drown your sorrows, you wanted to get drunk
Mascara hit your cheek as you started to cry
It gave me an excuse to go over and ask you why

I made a crappy joke, you said I was nice
And you said I wasn’t too hard on the eyes
You told me how you hates this useless city
And why you wanted to go somewhere a bit more pretty

I realised that night that I could love you
And here today you can say that I do
And all I want is for you to say you love me
I want us to be as happy as we can be

You wanted to leave before your hair started greying
And you used to remind of that old saying
Welcome to America they all say
That your dreams can live forever but your heart can never stay


The last line hit Maria. Not because she found it beautiful or interesting but because she recognised it. She said it all the time to Michael and that’s when the thoughts started flooding her mind. She remembered everything and she walked in with tears in her eyes as she stared down at Michael who had a bottle of Gin in his hand. She knelt down to wake him up and she did. She kissed him and told him she loved him and then she whispered in his ear “So when are we moving to London?”